A Season of Grief and Healing: Rebuilding
By Kam Cook
Stephen Ministry Coordinator
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:...A time to plant...And a time to build up...(adapted from Ecclesiastes 3).
Our grief has taught us we can survive while it has shattered many conscious and unconscious assumptions of what our church was supposed to be. We have not only grieved the loss of our beloved staff and what our church was; we have also grieved the loss of our belief that it shouldn’t have happened. We intellectually know bad things happen – to others, not us - and certainly not in our church. Our belief system has needed time to heal and regroup as much as our souls.
Now we must start to rebuild a new belief system from the foundation up; one that accepts the realities of life, yet still offers safety and hope for a different life; a belief system that will ultimately have a beauty of its own.
No experience exists in a vacuum. Chinese social reformer Ba Jin said, “Only by not forgetting the past can we be the master of the future.” By reflecting on where we’ve been, we can chart the course ahead to steer us in a better direction. Without denying the destruction that came before, we have been given space to reconstruct our identity and rebuild purpose as our church moves forward.
It is now time to rebuild, accepting that our future will probably be very different than before. Rebuilding begins at the moment of loss, but our rebuilding didn’t begin in earnest until we had time to sift through our feelings, memories, and issues that were the result of that loss. Only then did we have the strength to look towards a new future.
Rebuilding isn’t recreating our old life; it means picking up the pieces and putting them together in a different way. We will pass through our trial strong and intact only if we defuse our conflicts by creating new coalitions; if we become more guided by what we build than by whom we destroy; if we rebuild on the foundation of our shared sense of congregation.
The time has come for HHBC to rebuild. Rebuilding begins slowly and takes time. When we pool our strength and share the work and responsibility, community enables us to do things we can’t do as individuals.When I is replaced with We, even illness becomes wellness.(Malcomb X)
We now have the opportunity to build a new and better HHBC, one that God envisions. We don’t yet know what it will be, but we know God will reveal His plan in His own time. We pray for discernment to hear His voice speak to us in the days ahead. Although we have a lot to do to rebuild the walls that support our ministry, our founders left us a strong foundation on which to build.
The first article I wrote in this series was entitled “Like a Phoenix Rising from the Ashes.” Allow me to repeat the conclusion of that article. HHBC has been built on a firm foundation. However, rebuilding should not just be a restoration of the past; instead it should be a new creation towards a stronger future...I pray that HHBC will emerge from the cloud of darkness that has surrounded us and be reborn as the vibrant, caring church and beacon of hope we have the potential of becoming, with God’s guidance.
Each New Year, we allow ourselves to believe in rebirth. HHBC is now at a crossroads where we have the opportunity to intentionally remake ourselves. It’s empowering because it fosters the belief that we can start afresh, leave the burdens and errors of the past behind and create a new church. Our goal can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We can shape ourselves through our choice of who we will become, what we will do, and how we will do it.
If you are having trouble rebuilding your life, be if the result of Covid or other loss, our Stephen Ministers are available. For more information on how Stephen Ministry can provide you with trained, confidential, nonjudgmental one-to-one lay pastoral care, contact Referrals Coordinator Peggy Williams at (478) 719-3340 or by email.
Recognizing that God is the ultimate Cure Giver, the Mission of the Highland Hills Baptist Church Stephen Ministry is to serve God and bring Christ’s healing love to individuals who are experiencing life’s challenges through confidential, non-judgmental, one-on-one Christian care.