A Season of Grief and Healing, Stage 6: Finding Meaning in Love
Fourth Sunday of Advent
By Kam Cook
Stephen Ministry Coordinator
For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
The whole meaning of Christmas is embodied in one word – LOVE. God loves us so much He sent His only Son to be born as a human – even though He knew that beloved Son would eventually suffer an excruciating death for our sakes.
When I think of the Christmas story, I think of pictures of Mary looking at her infant son in adoration. Most mothers have felt this all-consuming love when gazing upon their newborn children. But we know the rest of the story: Mary would know the agony of loss and grief when that son was crucified 33 years later.
We grieve loss because we, as humans, have been blessed with the capacity to love. The pain of loss is so intense, so heartbreaking, because in loving we deeply connect with other human beings. The gift of grief is a reflection of a connection that has been lost, but a connection we will never forget.
Love and grief are inextricably intertwined – the only way to avoid grief is to avoid love. While it hurts to suffer loss, the alternative is apathy. In The Art of Loving,Erich Fromm wrote: To spare oneself from grief at all costs can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.
The adage, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” is trite but very true. In our congregational grief, the search for meaning has helped us be grateful for the presence of our beloved staff in our lives, for all the years we spent with them and for how they changed and enriched our lives immeasurably.
God understood He had to sacrifice His Son in order to save the human race, but I am sure that Mary experienced all the stages of grief and searched for meaning after His death. Like us, it was a time for reflection, hope, readjustment and healing. Mary’s life was forever changed, just as our church has been changed. Like Mary, we are left to cherish the memories, but are given the opportunity to envision new horizons. May our lives bear witness to the gifts they bestowed on us.
If you are searching for meaning in your life or are trying to heal from any type of loss, a trained Stephen Minister is available to support you. For more information on how Stephen Ministry can provide you with confidential, nonjudgmental one-to-one lay pastoral care, contact Referrals Coordinator Peggy Williams at (478) 719-3340 or pjwms12@gmail.com.
Recognizing that God is the ultimate Cure Giver, the Mission of the Highland Hills Baptist Church Stephen Ministry is to serve God and bring Christ’s healing love to individuals who are experiencing life’s challenges through confidential, non-judgmental, one-on-one Christian care.