A Season of Grief and Healing, Stage 6: Finding Meaning in Faith
By Kam Cook
Stephen Ministry Coordinator
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).
Some churches light a candle of Faith on the Second Sunday of Advent instead of the candle of Peace. Rather than acknowledging the Christ Candle in this week’s “Care Connections” article, I’m going to address faith because it is the foundation of our belief in Jesus Christ, who was born as a child in an humble manger in Bethlehem on Christmas day.
Having faith means believing and trusting in something that has no logical proof or material evidence. When hope fails, faith is there to pick us up. Faith is the bridge that can helps us get from our today to our tomorrow. This is particularly true when experiencing grief. Grief is a spiritual journey of the heart and soul. Loss touches the very heart of our faith in God, often in ways we never expected.
Some will draw closer to God. These people say their faith is the only thing that makes sense, the only thing they can count on, what gets them through their grief. They find their religious or spiritual lives deepened, renewed or changed as result of their loss. Grief has led to life-changing involvement for many, such as MADD, to save others from having to experience the same kind of loss.
While many people find their faith sustains them, others reexamine or rethink their entire belief system, at least for a time. They find themselves reevaluating their lives, leading to changes in their religious values and beliefs. However, while the search for meaning is necessary, we may never find neat, satisfying answers to all our faith questions.
Still others feel more distant or hostile to God, that He has abandoned them. How could a just and loving God have allowed this loss to have occurred? Even Mother Teresa expressed doubts about God. As He was dying on the cross, Jesus cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” However, don’t mistake feeling abandoned by God for being abandoned by God.
Many people feel that prayer is what keeps them going, but others feel too overwhelmed to pray. Some are so devastated by loss that it threatens the very foundation of their faith and they become too physically or emotionally exhausted to pray. Their feelings of anger and guilt become a barrier that makes it impossible for them to pray.
In Finding Meaning, grief expert David reminds us that when we can’t find the words to pray or don’t know how or what to pray, the Holy Spirit prays for us. Every pain we feel, every tear we shed, every groan we make becomes a prayer that God hears and understands. God feels our pain, experiences our struggles as He slowly yet steadily heals our broken hearts.
Prayers are our conversations with God. Psalms - poems, prayers and songs that express exactly what the writer was feeling – show us we can always be real with God. We can always tell Him how we truly feel and ask Him difficult questions. We can admit anything to Him: our anger; our feelings that God is near or that He has abandoned us; that we feel sustained or lost. If we have serious doubts about what God is doing or even whether God exists, we can express those doubts.
God doesn’t take away our pain, but He shares it: that’s the way God’s love works; that’s why every person who truly deeply shares our pain is doing God’s work. In sharing our corporate pain, we are doing God’s work to heal our church. Jesus helped those who suffered, He cared deeply for people whose hearts were broken by suffering. He is working in our congregation to heal our broken hearts.
We don’t know why HHBC Believers have had to experience this turmoil and pain over the past few months, but let us consider three questions:
Did these events occur to move us into different purposes of service?
Did these events occur for the personal strengthening of our own faith?
Did these events occur as a witness and testimony to others of the power of endurance and resilience guided by faith?
Faith is the bridge that will lead us from our now to our future. To walk that bridge, we must put one foot in front of the other, trusting that it will support us as we continue our journey into what God has planned for HHBC in the future.
If you are assailed by doubts and need help renewing your faith, a trained Stephen Minister is available to help you. For more information on how Stephen Ministry can provide you with confidential, nonjudgmental one-to-one lay pastoral care, contact Referrals Coordinator Peggy Williams at (478) 719-3340 or pjwms12@gmail.com.
Recognizing that God is the ultimate Cure Giver, the Mission of the Highland Hills Baptist Church Stephen Ministry is to serve God and bring Christ’s healing love to individuals who are experiencing life’s challenges through confidential, non-judgmental, one-on-one Christian care.