A Season of Grief and Healing, Stage 7: Finding Meaning in Joy

Third Sunday of Advent

By Kam Cook

Stephen Ministry Coordinator

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, so that those who love your name may exult in you (Psalm 5:11).

Life’s most precious emotion – joy – is compromised by loss and grief. Grief is first and foremost a spiritual journey because it forces us to examine our most fundamental beliefs and feelings about why we are here and what life means. When circumstances are at their worst, we often discover our unknown inner best.

Grief is not a disease – it is a normal part of love. Without the pain of grief, we would feel no joy of love. We must experience the lows to appreciate the high points - the joy – of life. Understanding begins to dawn after we surrender to the unknowable mystery of God. On one hand, grief/loss can cause us to shift focus, leading us to lose sight of the small things that naturally bring us joy. On the other hand, our personal source of spirituality can anchor us, allowing us to put our lives in perspective; it can give us a sense of connection to all things in nature and the world at large. Remaining mindful of the small things can allow us to stay present in the joy of the moment, to offer gratitude to the universe and to see beauty in the world.

Nurturing our spiritual self over time invites us to reconnect with the world and the people around us; our hearts open wider, and our lives begin to take on renewed meaning and purpose; we may find ourselves filled with compassion for others, especially others experiencing grief; we may find ourselves becoming kinder, gentle and forgiving of others as well as ourselves. Our newly formed Pastoral Care Team is opening our hearts to the concerns and needs of our congregation during this interim period.

Joy is not found in worldly possessions; instead, it is found in the simple – but priceless - things of life. All we have to do is open ourselves to the joy that surrounds us: we feel it in a hug or holding hands; we see it in the welcoming smile of a loved one; we hear it in laughter; we taste it in a lovingly prepared meal; we smell it in the flowers that surround us.

To me, joy is epitomized by a Christmas card, captioned “Joy!” and picturing our healthy toddler granddaughter, sent by our middle daughter following the loss of her second son to die as an infant of the same genetic disorder. What joy and delight we have in the life of our precious Shelby! But this joy was born of loss and grief.

Our church can keep growing and finding ways to live a joyous life by not allowing ourselves to be defined by what has happened. Joy will come when we know in our hearts that we are using our potential and our God-given gifts in our relationships with family and friends and in service to our church. It is so good to once again hear our choir raising their voices in joyous sound. Members are making a joyful noise by stepping up to fill gaps left by the departure of our staff, from filling in the pulpit to working in the office, to taking care of our facility and grounds, to serving on teams and committees.

During the pandemic, I have found myself noticing the quiet expectancy of Advent more. I’m grateful for an Advent that will prepare us for the joy of Christmas.

If your life has become devoid of joy and you need a listening ear to lift you up, a trained Stephen Minister is available to support you. For more information on how Stephen Ministry can provide you with confidential, nonjudgmental one-to-one lay pastoral care, contact Referrals Coordinator Peggy Williams at (478) 719-3340 or by email.

Recognizing that God is the ultimate Cure Giver, the Mission of the Highland Hills Baptist Church Stephen Ministry is to serve God and bring Christ’s healing love to individuals who are experiencing life’s challenges through confidential, non-judgmental, one-on-one Christian care.